tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32768792011-04-22T10:01:48.990+10:00g o o d [ e ] s t u f f"...and it makes me float free
to feel how small my life must be..."jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comBlogger1661100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1127719646078927172005-09-26T17:13:00.000+10:002005-09-26T17:27:30.396+10:00a huge cheer for national breast cancer awareness month. everyone please give generously. not only does aveda support it with the sale of their hand relief, i have volunteered to sell ribbons. watch out westfield shoppers! gorgeous toni has also designed a fabulous t-shirt selling at jeans west. my beautiful mum has just finished her chemo and is moving on to radiotherapy early october for a jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1124151413386198612005-08-16T09:48:00.000+10:002005-08-16T10:16:53.420+10:00what an amazing weekend. how will i ever thank the beautiful jane, sam, petrina and karen for organising a surprise engagement celebration. after a rather big night friday, saturday night i thought i was off to a quiet dinner with jane, john and matt. what i did not know was that our friends had spent weeks organising a dinner for us. yes, i know we have been slack on the celebrations, and most jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1121733037524510942005-07-19T10:10:00.000+10:002005-07-19T10:30:37.533+10:00well back to the cold weather of melbourne. had the most wonderful time at home spending time with my family - especially mum who looks does indeed have a gorgeous shaped head on her! was interesting (and admittedly a little confronting) how the chemo treatment was conducted and also to know how mum reacted to it but even through her immense nausea and tiredness her incredible sense of humour andjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1120202639364545822005-07-01T17:06:00.000+10:002005-07-01T17:25:24.796+10:00okay - i truly didn't pay for this rollercoaster ride but find myself smack bang in the middle of it. am flying home next week to visit my beautiful family and hold mum's hand for her third bout of chemo... let's hope she won't be holding mine! she is now sporting a beautiful blonde do that forever will be an oscar $250 hair cut. i had my appointment monday and of course in true fashion as jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1116979080764704372005-05-25T09:57:00.000+10:002005-05-26T10:47:08.596+10:00to anyone who reads this... not that i thought anyone really did... please know that this is my on-line diary. something that i can look back on. i don't name people. i am vague about details. but it is how i manage to release a lot of what is on my mind. i have had to remove entries from this as it seems like it is no longer my own diary, but more of a discussion forum where i am criticized for jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1114742328362531612005-04-29T12:21:00.000+10:002005-04-29T12:38:48.363+10:00i feel like i have been on the most intense rollercoaster of emotions. after the height of romance with such a beautiful engagement, mum was diagnosed with breast cancer on the 21st April (last thursday). my beautiful, untouchable mum. i flew up on the friday and was notified that all tests were conclusive. monday was her op to remove it. wednesday results in that it has all been removed (with jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1113291667127902812005-04-12T17:35:00.000+10:002005-04-12T17:41:07.126+10:00Sunday 10 April 2005 at approximately 8am on the top of Ayres Rock, with my parents blessing, Matt asked me to marry him and I accepted.Details will come. I am just so happy at the moment that I cannot put anything to words. It was just perfect. Thank you M. Thank you for loving me as you do xxxjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1111470245313290362005-03-22T15:39:00.000+10:002005-03-22T15:44:05.313+10:00two more sleeps until thursday.thursday is the last day before having four days off for easter.thursday we fly to brisbane.thursday i see my mum and dad.thursday i see my grandma.thursday i see my beautiful dog.thursday i get to go home.thursday i get to relax.thursday i see my dad's white nike air new shoes.thursday we give my dad his birthday present.thursday i will give my dad his birthday hugjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1111028483422094192005-03-17T12:55:00.000+10:002005-03-17T13:01:23.423+10:00two fabulous things happened today. i reached 1 million dollars worth of pr to date from july 2004 (we took pr in-house in october 2004). i have an aim of 1.5 by the end of the financial year. champagne for sam and i tomorrow!secondly my beautiful man just came past work with a bunch of stunning flowers for me.whilst all the girls at work sigh... mine is the loudest. love you m.thoughts are with jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1110426769516927352005-03-10T12:44:00.000+10:002005-03-10T13:56:05.746+10:00it has been ages... there is now an absence of a porch... oh, and i am also a permanent resident in at the st kilda east abode. did i mention that? it is wonderful and i am so happy i could burst. m is incredibly beautiful to me and i adore him to bits. so much so that i even have broken my evening meal of whatever i have left in my fridge and preferably on a salada... and am cooking everything jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1107817788798539482005-02-08T08:25:00.000+10:002005-02-08T09:11:23.036+10:00okay - i am over the depression of ungrateful friends and friends of friends and moving onto a happier space... matt and i did first step of renovating on weekend and I came through in flying colours. yes, even though minus a tool belt, i did don garden gloves, track suit pants, muscle tank top and boots and was the assistant to the demolition of his front porch. i cannot believe what a diy guy ijaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1107128722159010862005-01-31T09:30:00.000+10:002005-01-31T09:45:22.160+10:00it is funny when you really realise how much you put yourself out there and how much you really get back. sometimes i wish i could learn to be a 'taker' too.
jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1105411486253204782005-01-11T13:15:00.000+10:002005-01-11T12:44:46.253+10:00well, the first day of matt's and my diet and exercise kick went quite well. day two now. there was only once that i considered sticking my foot out and tripping him whilst we... errrr.... i..... was trudging up a hill. m was a little too sprightly for my liking! "come on baby, i am sure you aren't thhhaaaattt unfit!" i am sure my constant pleading for a) a bus to stop for me and b) the bus to jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1105079812049551362005-01-07T16:01:00.000+10:002005-01-07T16:36:52.050+10:00what can i say about m... m makes everything shiny and beautiful. he gives so much and puts me first always. as i put him. he is considerate beyond anything i have ever known and believed was true. we do not have tension, anxiety, unease... in a short time we only have deep love, friendship and i feel like i have met my partner. i can't explain it. every one who has seen us together are amazed jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1104990841364232822005-01-06T15:21:00.000+10:002005-01-06T15:54:01.366+10:00my nut just fell off! hmmm... probably sounds quite trivial... it's an aveda thing. kind of like a natural string with a nut on it. someone ties it on you and you make a wish, then when your wish is ready to come true the bracelet... er... string... breaks and the nut falls to the ground. totally biodegradable and environmentally friendly of course. now my nut has been hanging on for quite some jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1103765862812036352004-12-23T11:29:00.000+10:002004-12-23T11:37:42.813+10:00someone i thought knew me so obviously doesn't. who doesn't take note of what i do, only pin points the things that i have missed. absolutely saddened today by it. by it all. such an awful situation any way that this has only made it be filled with more pain. i hope he got what he wanted from it as i am devastated. maybe it is just grief. i hope it is not more.
two sleeps to santa and m. xx
jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1103590739358916472004-12-21T10:45:00.000+10:002004-12-21T10:58:59.356+10:00i am at home finally for a week of holiday and loving it. everything that is except for the spontaneous hurricane winds, thunder claps and going to bed with a bucket propped under my arm in case the roof leaks. due to the two former parts of that sentence and other tropical weather madness, it has led to part of our roof trying to take for cover also, presumably hiding in the neighbours backyardjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1102030618753172072004-12-03T09:16:00.000+10:002004-12-03T09:36:58.753+10:00yesterday was a truly sad day. we lost a very special woman - a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister and for me, a beautiful friend. for the zappia family i want to extend all my, and my family's, love and thoughts. to simon, carina and natalie as i cannot imagine what it would be like to ever lose a mother and one so infinitely special; to dom as she was his proud and beautiful wife that stood jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1101098650087156462004-11-22T14:42:00.000+10:002004-11-22T14:44:10.086+10:00this morning i received the most beautiful flowers. the peonie's bloomed in front of me throughout the day. just amazing. feeling a bit special.
jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1100578907970070282004-11-16T13:59:00.000+10:002004-11-16T14:21:47.970+10:00big flew to paris and rescued carrie from the evil, self-centred alexandr (yes, minus the 'e'), and he lets her, and loves her for being, just her.
samantha worked out what all women knew - smith is absolutely the most beautiful man alive in every respect and that she loves him. hey -he shaved his head for her AND gave the most gorgeous flowers AND flew all the way back because he wanted to tell jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1100500704350900392004-11-15T16:23:00.000+10:002004-11-15T16:38:24.350+10:00tonight is the final of sex in the city. it is a tragedy. if last week is anything to measure by, there will be plenty of tears also. oh, who hasn't been waiting for big to say "carrie, i am in love with you". born.romantic.lives.here. tonight i am sharing the finale with friends, cosmopolitans, and king prawns, with some cupcakes for dessert.
also had a rather surprising message.
to ponder. jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1099872612227533562004-11-08T09:51:00.000+10:002004-11-08T10:10:12.226+10:00monday morning. yawn... two and half weeks and i will be in beautiful queensland for seven days for work and play, then sydney, then back to melbourne followed by my gorgeous friends birthday bash. i cannot believe the next weekend i have free is the 11-12th december (that happens to be my beautiful mum's birthday) then back to queensland the next couple of weekends (do you believe christmas jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1099640488440215292004-11-05T17:29:00.000+10:002004-11-05T17:41:28.440+10:00yesterday i wore toni maticevski's strapless dress he sent me for oaks and i felt like a princess. what a wonderful day and what an amazing marquee. acp know how to do an event! this weekend i will rest up and sloth on my lounge - watch the rain and avoid my mobile. i need to. it has been a huge few weeks. there is however brunch with the girls tomorrow morning and possibly a day with chris on jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1099262147247631142004-11-01T08:29:00.000+10:002004-11-01T08:35:47.246+10:00now that was a beautiful and big weekend. 9.30am monday morning... can i go home and sleep now?
jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1099018081829675232004-10-29T13:40:00.000+10:002004-10-29T12:48:01.830+10:00okay. fashion week is over and i am working back on the water thing again... oh, damn it, oaks day next week... but it is rude to say no to french champagne sponsors! had a fabulous time. met amazing people and even wore the all access fashion music uk tv pass whilst being escorted by their ceo. it is always nice to reflect on those moments when home decked out in ugg boots and tracksuit watchingjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1098157858091222742004-10-19T13:25:00.000+10:002004-10-19T13:50:58.093+10:00it has been two weeks without alcohol... coke (only a cola girl here)... v's... pizza... and baci's. anyone who knows me understands that i must be going through extreme pain doing this... that for such large measures my dog's life must surely be in danger by a guy with an ouzi if i even flick a can or drive past liquorland. however, this has been of my own doing. i am flexing my muscles jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1098065908953029992004-10-18T13:05:00.000+10:002004-10-18T12:22:57.920+10:00okay. i had my 'session' and as of yet, am not committed. thank goodness! no, it was all fine. lots about what i felt was wrong with the company and why the high staff turnover. only managed one tear. i thought there would be many after viewing the sobbing wrecks of people post-session. it was when she looked at me and said "how do you cope? most go home and have someone to talk to about it and jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1097404539859740022004-10-10T20:29:00.000+10:002004-10-10T20:35:39.860+10:00i have absolutely no words to express work at the moment. resignations. circles of truth. psychologist. one-on-one sessions starting next week...
isn't our by-line "it's a great day to be at aveda"...?
jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1097103837668909572004-10-07T09:01:00.000+10:002004-10-07T09:03:57.666+10:00disclaimer: the previous post had nothing to do with simon zappia. (he will ALWAYS mean so much to me)
jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1096961925720396262004-10-05T17:23:00.000+10:002004-10-05T17:42:12.436+10:00i am back in the land of the living. thank you so much for all the love, support, flowers, cd's, books, cupcakes, baci's, cards, hot chocolates, texts, calls and for just being so incredible. feel very lucky. an enormous amount of gratitude and love to jane. your friendship is so special. thank you for being there for me and letting me be.
the only disappointment is one person who used to mean jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1096254485605863462004-09-27T13:50:00.000+10:002004-09-27T13:08:05.606+10:00had the most splendid weekend consisting of dom perignon, the yarra valley, a touch of grand final, vue de monde (and the incredibly large degustation menu), chapel street shopping, casual drinks on the balcony that turned into a bit of a party and sunday evening drunk pasta whilst singing to 'jane says'. what more could a girl want?! thank you mr frank for such a fantastic weekend (hwah! tiger jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1094790735879351482004-09-10T14:24:00.000+10:002004-09-10T14:32:15.880+10:00...something that felt so right, in restrospect, was so very wrong. live and learn...
jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1094117127863507302004-09-02T19:05:00.000+10:002004-09-02T19:25:27.863+10:00...i cannot believe that i am a) still at work AGAIN and b) that there is a radio station totally dedicated to 80s music. i am currently trying to phase out 'blame it on the rain', milli vanilli. i.am.not.joking. there has to be a glass of wine around here somewhere, stuff all this 'comforting tea'. no comfort here!
jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1093402873834761832004-08-25T12:53:00.000+10:002004-08-25T13:03:04.866+10:00my gosh! how long has it been?
since my last blog i received the most amazing flowers from that boy at borders, as well as the book i was reading when he interupted me and a bottle of ice magic. all on the monday i last wrote. we ended up seeing each other for a while. it even made it to the papers with a one page article with a heading 'will she marry him?'. however it wasn't meant to be and hejaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1084754774803870372004-05-17T10:39:00.000+10:002004-05-17T10:46:14.803+10:00this morning at 5.30am my lounge arrived. finally! absolutely gorgeous but in true - never easy - fashion they didn't supply the screws to the legs of my chaise. *bangs head repeatedly against desk*.
had a strange encounter on weekend. met a really nice guy at borders in between the aisles who was holding 'the unbearable lightness of being'. strangely enough it turns out that a) he played jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1083138462711075602004-04-28T17:47:00.000+10:002004-04-28T17:50:47.090+10:00i cannot feel my toes.
*wiggle, wiggle*
nothing.jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1082073941604575222004-04-16T09:45:00.000+10:002004-04-16T10:15:21.810+10:00last day at the wonderful bullet. bye to the beautiful songstress annette who makes every morning shine, my commander, leader & true gentleman alistair, the gorgeous, crimped hair fashionite dee, and the wonderfully quirky, bad driving clair.
my car was just put on a truck with hot pink texter lettering on the front window "STH YARRA, VIC". see you there little pug. xjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1082001383599717842004-04-15T13:23:00.000+10:002004-04-15T13:59:58.140+10:00last night just after midnight when my parents and i were packing the last of my things for the removalists today, and watching dad walk around with my lamps on his head and holding up the lightbulbs saying "i have an idea!", i realised how much i love my family and how i am going to miss them terribly. that along with dad trying to smuggle my ginger plant into a box for me complete with misting jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1081910471117082862004-04-14T12:30:00.000+10:002004-04-14T12:44:01.280+10:00i once had a boy send me this song on valentine's day. he taped it and cut the tape so it was the only song on both sides. it came with a flower and a small glass butterfly.
butterfly
lenny kravitz
you are the most beautiful thing
i've ever seen
you shine just like sunlight rays
on a winter snow
i just had to tell you so
your eyes sparkle as the stars
like the moon they glow
your smilejaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1081388352634525982004-04-08T11:35:00.000+10:002004-04-08T11:41:57.983+10:00one day post 30th.
today:
a) secured an apartment in south yarra
b) have been sent on a treasure hunt to the valley for a birthday present
c) had a call from my dr re my biopsy results from tuesday. consequently another op this afternoon.
d) found a wonderful band 'aqualung' which i discovered after being sent 'strange & beautiful'
so three our of four aint bad.
...*sigh*...jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1080777059232776002004-04-01T09:43:00.000+10:002004-04-01T09:53:36.090+10:00sometimes, no matter how much you want to keep something, it is better to let it go as that makes you a better person. just wish i felt better doing it now and not in the long run.jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1080170148882951032004-03-25T09:14:00.000+10:002004-03-25T09:18:19.280+10:00apparently there are very, very gorgeous men in melbourne. not all gay either. we have a PLUS!jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1080170047445030862004-03-25T08:59:00.000+10:002004-03-25T09:16:37.856+10:00in two weeks i will be 30. in four weeks i will be living in melbourne. an officially grown-up job and title to coincide with the former. not only will this be a huge shock to the system with mad right hand turns from the left lanes, trams sharing the road (hey, in adelaide at least they were on their own track!), crazy victorian sports fanatics and a toll system that will be sure to see me with jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1079396078560127252004-03-16T10:09:00.000+10:002004-03-16T10:16:59.983+10:00i have been offered an incredible opportunity.
knowing i wont accept it is awful.
surely it wont be my last great opportunity in life.
surely.
tomorrow it will be like it never happened.
anyway, aren't i already in a great opportunity?
great family, great colleagues, good money?
why would i need more.
right. almost totally convinced.jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1078179235821775422004-03-02T08:04:00.000+10:002004-03-02T08:16:03.153+10:00my doctor rang. she is disappointed. results positive again. however hoping she removed all of the area with biopsy as still only small. will know in three months when i have to go back.
she's disappointed!? i have major disappointment issues however am going to take it as another wake-up call for me to keep happy and true to myself. and of course more reason to save for those gorgeous versace jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1077757360131083432004-02-26T11:01:00.000+10:002004-02-26T11:04:44.466+10:00and the cycle starts again...
another growth. another biopsy. results next week.
i'm going to go and stick my head in an ice bucket.jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1077665143465121922004-02-25T09:21:00.000+10:002004-02-26T11:07:03.936+10:00at work listening to 'let's go to bed' from the cure's japanese whispers cd.
am still pondering the lovely sjp's quote from monday night "if the past is still the present, how do we move onto the future?"...jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1074127361196251642004-01-15T10:06:00.000+10:002004-01-15T10:44:01.263+10:00there is absolutely no excuse for my complete disrespect of the blog. this year i will aim to remedy such things. tragic I know. this year is starting off beautifully. changes all in the right directions. one could even feel slightly better about turning 30, however that said, i strongly advise against such a thing.
"if i knew
being here with you today
would mean being alone tomorrow
i would jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1071621694725048572003-12-17T10:16:00.000+10:002003-12-17T10:42:26.140+10:00today is wednesday. the second week of my new job at bullet. i love it here. i have cut, pasted, painted, sticky-taped, wrapped and potato printed. i have a shiny new car. i have a fantastic new 'club bowie' cd. i have been to adelaide and witnessed miracles and happiness. life is goooooooodddddddd xjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1068088916184412862003-11-06T13:21:00.000+10:002003-11-06T13:23:17.493+10:00i have resigned
today
officially
da da DAAAAAjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1067827205855973442003-11-03T12:28:00.000+10:002003-11-03T12:40:04.203+10:00i am at the ultimate crossroards of my life... i would say not my entire life, i have encountered some before and i am sure i will encounter many more, however this one is another significant shift.
armed with A1 health, and a far less limited view of things, I am faced with embarking on my original chosen career; a dalliance with an incredibly wonderful but young man [do I really want somethingjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1065078185642488742003-10-02T16:57:00.000+10:002003-10-02T17:03:05.770+10:00i am all good. my biopsy showed that my cells had accelerated lightening speed to the advanced level, however all have been removed and should be honky dory now. another check in a couple of weeks, then monthly, then six monthly, then yearly... blah, blah, blah. tummy still resembling good year blimp. scared if a strong wind picks up i may be calling home from china.
and just because...
"YOU'VEjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1064277846194948572003-09-23T10:41:00.000+10:002003-09-23T10:44:05.713+10:00*drums fingernails on desk*
phone still silent. what is wrong with my results now?
i'm not patient. i hate this. the longest i have put something on layby was two hours. i repeat, i'm not patient.
CALL!jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1064212015606199612003-09-22T16:24:00.000+10:002003-09-23T10:44:48.650+10:00The time is right
I'm gonna pack my bags
And take that journey down the road
Cause over the mountain I see the bright sun shining
And I want to live inside the glow
I wanna go to a place where I am nothing and everything
That exists between here and nowhere
I wanna go to a place that time has no consequence
The sky opens to my prayers
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
Please jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1063778040975306732003-09-17T15:04:00.000+10:002003-09-17T15:54:00.390+10:00tomorrow i have the surgery to rid myself of those awful abnormal cells. life will then hopefully seem quite normal once again. i have one of my best friend's here who has been a wonderful and surprising support i didn't really see coming. feeling very grateful for family [mum, dad and all my gorgeous reletives] and friends [barb, david, dean, jane, leah, sarah and simon, to name a few and in jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1062908028248738102003-09-07T14:13:00.000+10:002003-09-07T14:13:48.280+10:00happy father's day!
to my dad who i am sure don's the superman's lycra outfit under his king gees. love you! xx
ps - Up the POWER!!!!jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1062907950239576832003-09-07T14:12:00.000+10:002003-09-07T14:12:30.283+10:00appointment this week. wednesday. d-day. 1pm.
would it look bad to turn up drunk? would probably then tell specialist my road joke which always comes out when drinking.
guy walks into a bar with a piece of bitumen under his arm.
bartender asks him "what are you having?"
guys says "a scotch for me, and one for the road"
probably not appropriate.
jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1062071463691199102003-08-28T21:51:00.000+10:002003-08-28T22:20:27.526+10:00there are some chapters in my life i now no longer want to go back and re-hash, but remember with fondness it was a great read the first time.
it was a wonderful story s. bye xjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1061639715067755702003-08-23T21:55:00.000+10:002003-08-23T21:55:14.933+10:00i have had the most amazing twelve months. i have met people who others would dream of meeting. i have sat in their lounges; drank copious amounts of wine with; eaten tapas and sushi with...
no matter how alone i sometimes feel, my life is good. it has been good. i look forward to the future xjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1060498321504398022003-08-10T16:52:00.000+10:002003-08-15T12:07:35.190+10:00i take back all the thank you's. the romance. the invitation to melbourne for dinner. bah!
moving right along...
went to get dvd's yesterday. guy from network video asked what i had been doing last weekend [my work weekend at byron]... apparently it was noted that i hadn't been in as every saturday i am there like clockwork. sad.... sad.... sad... i'm surprised i wasn't reported to missing jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1060130841341883352003-08-06T10:47:00.000+10:002003-08-06T10:47:21.333+10:00"beautiful girls deserve romance"
flowers sent anonymously yesterday. amazing how a little thing makes everything wonderful.
thank you to who sent them! xxjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1059954504904692132003-08-04T09:48:00.000+10:002003-08-05T12:57:21.176+10:00was that a weekend?
i have decking oil all over me that is making me look like i have had a run in with my fake tan bottle... white paint stuck to the hairs on my arms and soil embedded into the smallest crevices of my nails. i was a working machine... staining, painting, potting, shovelling. where was my bloody camera crew? pfft. point. never believe your boss when he says "come down to byron, jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1059529072748819862003-07-30T11:37:00.000+10:002003-07-30T11:37:52.710+10:00yesterday was a make or break day. i worked out that caring for someone means putting their happiness before your own - even though it is like stabbing yourself with a salad fork... multiple times. yet somehow in the end it becomes some kind of weird, twisted therapy.
"take it from me
he and i were winter bees
i fell easily
for visions i'd never see"
lullaby - martina topley-bird [my new love]jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1059432961932128852003-07-29T08:56:00.000+10:002003-07-29T08:56:01.810+10:00my one muscle in each arm is hurting. how much further papa smurf?jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1059367616816016252003-07-28T14:46:00.000+10:002003-07-28T14:46:56.696+10:00i have a muscle in each arm! a definite muscle. i have witnesses! [wont mention one of them laughing at the size of it... hmph]. so now feel tad bit better about the fact i am having difficulty lifting my arm to eat, and that walking up steps has taken on a whole new dimension of pain. next week am hoping my thighs will have shrunk to the size of carrot sticks and stomach could be used for a drumjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1059020472864280972003-07-24T14:21:00.000+10:002003-07-24T14:31:09.050+10:00looks as if i caught that ulcer just in time. wasn't the best news but wasn't the worst news either. all treatable but enough to scare the bejesus out of me. i hate the word 'cancer' coming up in any discussion. least of all with one's doctor!
last night had my second round of training but this time with mick. i am working out which of the trainers is my favourite [kahn, mick & lachlan]. so far jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1058765222310180332003-07-21T15:27:00.000+10:002003-07-21T15:27:02.386+10:00i want love and hugs and all things nice.jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1058496276303434522003-07-18T12:44:00.000+10:002003-07-18T13:06:07.343+10:00...having palpatations today and crying fits. i hate doctors. i hate being good and always getting check-ups then receiving the ominous letter "please call at your earliest convenience as your doctor wants to discuss your results with you". what is that? then ringing to find no-one can help you in your fits of hiccuping back tears with your boss pacing anxiously behind you as your doctor wont be jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1058406481984909762003-07-17T11:48:00.000+10:002003-07-18T13:07:30.996+10:00tonight i am going to have my fat pinched and measured. i will be weighed, measured and notes taken. the time has become to start getting serious. i will be embarking on firstly a month of three sessions a week with a personal trainer, and then re-evaluated. this will be mixed with body combat classes and a diet consisting of whatever they tell me i have to eat. i went yesterday for the initial jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1057817653471074292003-07-10T16:14:00.000+10:002003-07-10T16:14:13.500+10:00i am starting on my list of people who mean so much to me. i am sending them mails to tell them how much i love them. i feel so lucky to have these people in my life. xjaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1057734682106970702003-07-09T17:11:00.000+10:002003-07-09T17:11:22.173+10:00i am back. i am relaxed. i have undergone severe torture. i have had the ultimate in deep tissue massages. i have a tan. i will relay more tomorrow. for now i am having a wine and just loving life. my neck and shoulders are free again.jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1057111373034582712003-07-02T12:02:00.000+10:002003-07-02T12:02:53.063+10:00it is kyah's birthday today. we have gifts, ice-cream and even a candle for her. she loves unwrapping her presents and eating ice-cream from her spoon. she is eight today. oh, and she is our family's siberian husky... i really need to consider having a child...jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1057028251116684032003-07-01T12:57:00.000+10:002003-07-01T12:57:31.010+10:00okay, for those who have questioned my previous blog "Stella Marie you're my star"... it is a line from a very old song i used to love from pj harvey that i used to listen to 10+ years ago. it's called "O Stella"... the other favourite of mine was "Sheela-na-gig" which had the line "i'm going to wash that man right out of my hair, i'm going to take my hips to a man who cares"... hey, she was good!jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1056949122836318112003-06-30T14:58:00.000+10:002003-06-30T14:58:42.740+10:00i just fell of the wagon. popped a can of coke. now that IS the real thing. jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1056932602385468222003-06-30T10:23:00.000+10:002003-06-30T10:25:33.693+10:00i am booked - the gold card is squealing. i have a beachview studio for five nights. spa on my balcony right on the beach at hastings street. phone will be diverted and i will be doing full day Aqua Spa treatments. from this friday do not expect any immediate responses from me. for a week i will not exist to anyone but me. me, me, me. i am going to lie like a starfish and let my hair go curly. jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1056670481981849832003-06-27T09:34:00.000+10:002003-06-27T09:34:41.996+10:00and they thought the day the bomb landed on hiroshima was bad...
yesterday morning and the beeping of my car was the commencement of my own war torn day. the struggle between myself, european automobiles and peugeot was the making of a great epic film. the promises of a tow truck came at 2.30pm... the tow truck came at 5.30pm... i watched with a tear in the eye as the truck, with lights glaring,jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1056595030888032112003-06-26T12:37:00.000+10:002003-06-26T12:39:21.550+10:00the pug is beeping. loudly. my key is out. the doors are locked and she is beeping. i can hear it from my office at the back of our building. people are looking at her suspiciously and quickly crossing the road. i am sure calls are being placed to the local police station as i type. i have european automobiles scratching their heads and working out possible tow trucks, loan cars, and how to get jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1056588907892372842003-06-26T10:55:00.000+10:002003-06-26T10:55:07.763+10:00"Stella Marie you're my star"
jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1056507162353082762003-06-25T12:12:00.000+10:002003-06-25T12:12:42.413+10:00now... where to stay. that is the big, gold card visa question...
i am being offered chocolates and champagne on arrival. oh yeah, girl by herself with a bottle of champagne and an entire box of milk tray... jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1055802438863568222003-06-17T08:27:00.000+10:002003-06-19T15:13:07.906+10:00i made it happen. 4 july - 13 july. noosa. massaging. relaxing. nice.jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1055382018183799692003-06-12T11:40:00.000+10:002003-06-12T11:40:18.166+10:00i am in need of a holiday. the more i think about it the more i crave it. i am becoming useless. i want warm weather, beaches, massages, great novels and walks. i want solitude. i want to turn my mobile off. this will happen. i am going to make this happen.jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-1055290349379945922003-06-11T10:12:00.000+10:002003-06-11T10:12:29.396+10:00where is the bus that ran over me?jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-953109612003-06-05T12:15:00.000+10:002003-06-05T12:15:51.240+10:00i was in love with twin peaks. particularly series one. the symbolism, the music, everything. i wanted to look like shelley and audrey, wanted to eat doughnuts with agent cooper [oh, and lets not forgot chris isaaks agent cameo]. i loved the name james after lara flynn boyle would say it so breathlessly. i hated leo, i loved bobby, i was scared of bob. i still have laura palmers diary in my jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-952290472003-06-03T18:47:00.000+10:002003-06-03T18:47:26.166+10:00j file fact number two:
i have always been able to, and can still, cross both legs behind my head.
*this should come with a warning label*jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-951831642003-06-02T18:24:00.000+10:002003-06-02T18:24:31.726+10:00i have an urge to buy black denim Seven jeans. yes... that was black denim.jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-950695952003-05-30T16:33:00.000+10:002003-05-30T16:33:49.846+10:00>i wonder how people see me?
"As one of the most beautiful people who ever lived, not because of your outer beauty (which is to be complimented at every turn!), but because of your immense and immeasurable inner beauty."
thank you sarz. just had to share what beautiful friends i have. i am now going to fall down in tears... excuse me *thud*jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-950624322003-05-30T12:55:00.000+10:002003-05-30T12:55:09.443+10:00i think i am morphing again... you know every now and then you look in the mirror and notice you have more freckles, your weight has changed, your face is fatter or thinner, and you just seem a little different. you, but different. i don't think i will ever look at myself as a woman, just a girl in dress-ups. i wonder how people see me?
i think i am going to try and change the colour of this jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-949632722003-05-28T10:01:00.000+10:002003-05-28T11:48:41.000+10:00i am trying to think positive thoughts. happy thoughts of when my pug and i first became acquainted. when it was still a young little pug, happy and attentive. now i can still hear it's screams as i sit at work listening to the shrills from the car park across the road. yes, she was dented last night. and worse still, they let her stay there in pain without a note of apology or anything! i was jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-943641732003-05-15T12:23:00.000+10:002003-05-15T12:26:00.000+10:00i was reading a website of my friend who wrote about memories of their bike and made me think of my own and the events surrounding...
i remember my first bike clearly and i remember the day i worked out how to ride it. we used to have a tennis court out the back of our place that i would practice short little stints with dad's hand fimly on the back of the seat calling out encouraging words. i jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-943065972003-05-14T13:36:00.000+10:002003-05-14T13:36:58.350+10:00nb... as you can figure had no idea how to end my little verse... couldn't get "the lion sleeps tonight" out of my head... i get sadder by the day... x
jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-942962922003-05-14T10:08:00.000+10:002003-05-14T10:08:50.556+10:00this my birthday ode to leah,
who is the most smashinest friend around.
she can down triple the drinks than i,
and come home in heels without making a sound.
all the boys are in love with her,
she makes a gorgeous date.
have even thought of trying myself,
if she wasn’t such a hetero mate.
she can cook a tantalising pasta,
and even stuff a mushroom.
all with a flick of her platinum blonde locks,
jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-942342612003-05-13T10:13:00.000+10:002003-05-13T10:13:59.540+10:00first there was brad, then ben, luke and now chris... i have to say that i was seriously starting to wonder about gwynnie's state of mind. thought the poor lass may be having a meltdown - unknown tuma - i mean... brad pitt to chris martin! look at the pictures! however now think that the woman is a sheer genius. yesterday i bought my first coldplay album and after laying in bed listening to it i jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-941402482003-05-11T17:37:00.000+10:002003-05-11T17:44:43.000+10:00mother's day... the fishbowl... and a 'defining moment'...
was wonderful day today in celebration of my mum being wonderful. we went to 'the fishbowl'. very kitch place at redcliffe that has kewpie dolls on the roof, plastic chairs hanging from the ceiling and the spontaneous parade of the 50's and 60's fashion show complete with strip tease at the end. don't drool there boys... it is jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-940964702003-05-10T17:34:00.000+10:002003-05-10T17:41:26.000+10:00qld is the strangest place. one day it is warm, sunny and beautiful day after day after day... the next it drops about four-five degrees, it gets dark at 5pm and continues that way day after day after day... i have just bought my second pair of peter alexander home boots [nice way of saying the ugg boot]. this pair are up to my knees and in black so i can venture out to the mailbox and further jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-940230932003-05-09T10:56:00.000+10:002003-05-09T10:56:51.000+10:00the j files [an on-going entry]
fact: used to know every word to the movie, 'the lost boys'.jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-939665062003-05-08T13:00:00.000+10:002003-05-08T13:00:57.483+10:00had extremely surreal three minute moment when waking this morning. first of all wondered if i had finished my homework... if my uniform was clean... and why was the door to my room on the opposite side and where in fact was my room in relation to the house plan. if i develop some kind of mind disease that regresses me finally to a three month old infant, please take note of this date for jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-939659682003-05-08T12:51:00.000+10:002003-05-08T12:51:05.693+10:00after just receiving wonderful thievery corporation's - abductions & reconstructions cd - am now dwelling on doing my first internet import purchase of cd's:
arkestra one - arkestra one [another on the eighteenth street lounge music label]
blue 6 - beautiful tomorrow [mastermind behind naked music and my other want, naked tempo]
zero 7 - simple things
baxter - baxter
puracane - things you should jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-939009812003-05-07T12:20:00.000+10:002003-05-07T12:20:25.490+10:00i have bought THE dress for the gala night awards in june...
actually it shouldn't really be called a dress. it should be called the ridiculously expensive piece of black fabric that i am going to need three shots of vodka to achieve the look i am going for. tall, confident, and not trying to notice that the front is almost cut to my navel AND that even my mid thighs will be on show. this look jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-934991642003-04-30T10:40:00.000+10:002003-04-30T10:41:35.000+10:00two new things happened to me yesterday:
i received my first 'pug' wave. lovely old man with beret gave me the peugeot salute [you know the oh hello, you too are driving a car of fine french performance and style]. oops, did receive a hello a while back but that was from a guy in a renault convertible going the opposite way down milton road in a traffic jam. he said 'like your wheels'. smiled jaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3276879.post-923941392003-04-11T10:26:00.000+10:002003-04-11T10:26:26.060+10:00i am now positive new woman of the world. this year is going to be THE year. i predict that i will be filling these web pages with my travels, purchases, personal development and love stories for the entire year! if i find time may even work on that cure for cancer....
one thing though that is waking me up in sweats, i have a scary love for justin timberlake's 'cry me a river'. from a girl whojaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03091233561564579161noreply@blogger.com